Jewish Funeral Planning

Jewish burial traditions are built around three values: speed, simplicity, and equality. Together they shape every decision a family makes.

• fiber_manual_recordSpeed. Traditional Jewish law calls for burial as soon as possible after death, ideally within 24 hours. This honors the body and limits the period of mourning before burial, which is considered a liminal and difficult state. In practice, most Jewish funerals happen within one to three days, depending on family travel and day of the week. Funerals do not take place on Shabbat (sundown Friday to nightfall Saturday) or major Jewish holidays.
• fiber_manual_recordSimplicity. The deceased is dressed in plain white linen burial shrouds called tachrichim. A simple wooden casket — one that will return to the earth — is used in traditional practice. Flowers on the casket are not traditional (though non-Jewish guests often bring them and this is received graciously). Embalming is generally discouraged because it delays natural return to the earth.
• fiber_manual_recordEquality. Every person, regardless of wealth or status, is buried the same way. The same white shrouds. The same simple casket. The same rites. This is considered one of Judaism's most profound expressions of human dignity.

The Chevra Kadisha (literally “holy society”) is a volunteer organization of trained Jewish community members who care for the body of the deceased from death until burial. This is considered one of the highest acts of kindness in Judaism — a chesed shel emet, a true kindness, because the recipient cannot repay it.

The central act performed by the Chevra Kadisha is tahara — ritual purification of the body. The body is carefully washed and then a continuous flow of water is poured over it while prayers are recited. The deceased is then dressed in the white tachrichim shrouds.

This process is done in respectful silence with great care. It is performed by same-sex volunteers. For traditional communities, tahara is considered mandatory. In liberal communities it may be optional, but many families still request it as a meaningful final act of honor.

From the moment of death until burial, the body is not left alone. A shomer (guardian, masculine) or shomeret (feminine) sits with the body, often reading Psalms quietly. This practice, called shmirah, expresses the belief that the soul remains near the body until burial and should not be left without companionship.

In traditional communities, this is done in shifts around the clock. The Chevra Kadisha often organizes shmirah volunteers. In liberal communities, the practice varies — some families request it, others do not observe it. If the family wishes to have shmirah observed, inform the funeral home immediately so it can be arranged.

Jewish funeral services are typically brief and plain. They may be held at the funeral home, at the graveside, or (less commonly) at a synagogue. There is no standard liturgy that applies universally — practices vary significantly between Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and other communities. The rabbi leads the service.

Kriah: the tearing of a garment

Before the service begins, immediate mourners (spouse, parents, children, siblings) perform kriah — a small tear in their clothing or in a black ribbon pinned to their clothing. This ancient act of grief, described in the Torah, expresses that the mourner's world has been torn. The tear is made on the left side for a parent and the right side for other relatives. The rabbi or funeral director will guide this.

The hesped (eulogy)

The hesped is the eulogy. Unlike in some traditions, Jewish funerals place great importance on eulogies — speaking truthfully and lovingly about who the person was is considered a mitzvah. Family members and close friends may speak. The rabbi typically speaks as well.

Note: Eulogies are traditionally not given on certain days — during Chol HaMoed (the intermediate days of Passover and Sukkot), on Rosh Chodesh, or on some other minor holidays. The rabbi will advise if this applies.

El Malei Rachamim

This prayer — “God, full of compassion” — is a memorial prayer asking God to grant the soul rest under the shelter of the Divine Presence. It is chanted by the cantor or rabbi and is one of the most emotionally powerful moments in a Jewish funeral. Many people hear it for the first time at a funeral and are deeply moved by it.

Kaddish

The Mourner's Kaddish is recited by immediate mourners at the service and will continue to be recited at daily prayer services for eleven months following the death of a parent (thirty days for a spouse, sibling, or child). Kaddish does not mention death — it is a prayer of praise to God, recited in the midst of grief as an affirmation of faith.

In Jewish tradition, the burial itself — lowering the casket into the earth — is central. The soul's journey is considered complete only when the body returns to the earth. The grave is filled at the graveside, and mourners and friends participate in this directly.

• fiber_manual_recordShoveling earth. Family members and close friends take turns shoveling earth into the grave. This is considered the last act of kindness one can do for the deceased. By tradition, the shovel is not passed hand to hand — each person places it back in the earth for the next person to pick up, so that grief is not directly transferred.
• fiber_manual_recordSeven stops. In traditional Ashkenazi practice, the pallbearers pause seven times while carrying the casket to the grave, reciting Psalm 91. This is not universally practiced but is still observed in many communities.
• fiber_manual_recordJewish cemetery. Most Jewish cemeteries require that those buried there be Jewish. Different denominations (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform) often have separate sections. If the family is mixed-faith, ask the funeral home and rabbi early — options vary by cemetery.
• fiber_manual_recordCremation. Traditional Orthodox and Conservative Judaism prohibits cremation. Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism permit it, leaving the decision to the family. If cremation is chosen in a liberal community, discuss burial of the ashes with the rabbi — many Jewish cemeteries now have sections for cremated remains.

Judaism structures grief into distinct phases, each with decreasing intensity, giving mourners a gradual and supported return to daily life. Understanding these phases helps families know what to expect — and helps friends and community members know how to show up.

Jewish practice varies substantially between denominations. What is required in an Orthodox community may be optional or absent in a Reform one. This is not a source of conflict — it reflects the diversity within Judaism itself. When in doubt, ask the rabbi what the family's community observes and follow that guidance.

• fiber_manual_recordOrthodox and Traditional Conservative: Tahara and tachrichim are required. Wooden casket only. No cremation. Full shiva, shloshim, and eleven months of Kaddish for parents. Burial in a Jewish cemetery, typically in a section for that community.
• fiber_manual_recordConservative (mainline): Tahara is standard. Wooden casket preferred. Cremation discouraged but not strictly forbidden — ask the rabbi. Shiva and shloshim observed, though practices may vary.
• fiber_manual_recordReform and Reconstructionist: Practices are left largely to the family. Tahara may or may not be performed. Cremation is permitted. Shiva may be shortened or adapted. The rabbi and family make these decisions together.

Jewish funerals move fast. Most of these steps happen within hours of the death.

Immediately

• fiber_manual_recordContact the rabbi and a Jewish funeral home simultaneously
• fiber_manual_recordConfirm whether shmirah will be observed and who will organize it
• fiber_manual_recordContact the Chevra Kadisha (or ask the funeral home to do so)
• fiber_manual_recordIdentify the Hebrew name of the deceased (needed for the service and gravestone)
• fiber_manual_recordChoose a burial plot — confirm the cemetery accepts the deceased per their affiliation
• fiber_manual_recordNotify immediate family — they are now in aninut and exempt from religious obligations

Before the funeral (Day 1)

• fiber_manual_recordSet the date and time with the rabbi and funeral home — check for Shabbat or holiday conflicts
• fiber_manual_recordPrepare or assign eulogies
• fiber_manual_recordDesignate pallbearers
• fiber_manual_recordNotify extended family and friends with date, time, and location
• fiber_manual_recordWrite the obituary
• fiber_manual_recordArrange for a minyan (quorum of 10) at the service if Kaddish is to be recited — the synagogue can help

Before shiva begins

• fiber_manual_recordPrepare the shiva house: cover mirrors, arrange low seating, clear a space for prayers
• fiber_manual_recordLight the shiva candle (a large candle that burns for seven days)
• fiber_manual_recordAsk community members or synagogue to organize the first meal and a food schedule
• fiber_manual_recordSet visiting hours — some families keep an open house, others designate specific hours

After shiva

• fiber_manual_recordNote the Hebrew calendar date of death for future yahrzeit observances
• fiber_manual_recordOrder certified copies of the death certificate (8–12)
• fiber_manual_recordPlan the unveiling of the gravestone — traditionally held at the end of shloshim or at the one-year mark
• fiber_manual_recordRegister the name with the synagogue for Yizkor memorial prayers four times yearly

A short explainer and a full audio overview — two ways to go deeper on Jewish funeral planning.